A Heart Like Winter
by RaspberryBloodTablets
Summary: AU/Modern Day. Kikyo is abandoned on the side of a minor highway during a blizzard, by her abusive lover, Naraku. When a complete stranger finds her clinging to her last breath, he saves her. Can Kikyo's body- and heart- ever fully recover? InuKik
1. Colorless

Hello, **RaspberryBloodTablets** here! You may recognize me from some of my other stories, such as my _Vampire Knight_ fanfiction titled "New Future". Technically, this will be the fist real fanfiction that I have written for the InuYasha fandom (okay, well the fist one with a real plot, anyway), so I hope that you enjoy it. For now the story will be told from Kikyo's POV, but it might switch in later chapters.

Also, this is **InuKik** so **no Kikyo bashing** reviews will be tolerated. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound so harsh, but honestly, **if you don't like the pairing**, then **don't read it**.

This is a modern day AU, so InuYasha will be in his human form, and all non-hunam characters can become human for the sake of this. With this story, I shall try to do my best to keep everyone in character, so I hope that you enjoy this story.

Disclaimer: I **do not own** InuYasha or **any** of it's characters, they all **belong to their creator**, **Rumiko Takahashi**. Also, **no profit** is ever being made of **anything** I write, **ever**. I'm just a fan. **Thank you** for listening.

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**A Heart Like Winter**

Chapter 1

Colorless

(Kikyo POV)

-

-

All I could see was the thick white snow, which fell in sheets, blocking my vision. I was unsure of where to move, worrying that if I moved forward, I would walk right into traffic, and if I stepped backward, I would fall off of some sort of embankment.

The flakes of freezing snow were small, but so plentiful that it seemed it would continue falling forever, making it's diagonal spiral to Earth for the rest of eternity.

I could see the faint glow of headlights barely breaking through the snow. I waved my arms and yelled, hoping someone would see me, but they didn't.

The snow got even worse, and cars became less frequent. Soon, none came at all.

It was then that I realized that I was probably going to freeze to death here. My legs were shaking so much that I could barely stand up. I was so cold that my skin burned.

I wondered, if this had been his intention when he left me here. For me to die.

I quickly shook the thought from my head, even though I knew it was true. I touched the side of my face, feeling the sting of the bruise that covered one side of my face.

As I fell to the ground, I replayed the scene in his car, possibly hours ago by now.

_We had been driving home from a restaurant, when he had taken a sudden detour onto this highway. I had thought it was strange that he would take such a route in the middle of a snowstorm, but had then thought better than to say anything._

_I didn't want to make him mad. The episodes were happening much more frequently lately._

_I would say the wrong thing, he would get mad, and he would beat me. It was the same, every time. When I first met Naraku, I never would have been able to guess the extent of his anger._

_The snow was falling more and more heavily, and he pulled over to the side of the highway._

_"What are you doing?" I had asked him. I realized that my hands were shaking._

_He turned in his seat, carefully lifting his hands from the steering wheel. This action was so clam, that I didn't expect what came next._

_When he slapped me across the face, my head whipped to the side with so much impact, that I thought for a moment that I had whiplash._

_"I'm sick and tired of you, bitch," he hissed, his voice like poison, "You always make a fool of me."_

_I wasn't sure what he meant by that. The excuses for hitting me were always different._

_He hit me again, but this time I was ready for it, I tried to catch his hand, but he grabbed my wrist and twisted it violently. _

_I let out a cry of pain, and saw that he was reaching across me, to the handle of the passenger-side door. I hadn't been wearing a seat belt, so I wasn't surprised when my back met with cold snow._

_I didn't try to get up, figuring if I didn't he would get out to kick me and drag me back into the car, as he had done a few times before, and that maybe somebody would see. Maybe somebody would get me out of here. That's why I was surprised when I heard the door close, and he began to drive away._

_I tried to pull myself up, but my wrist was throbbing._

_By the time I stood, he was already gone._

I closed my eyes, and tried to block it out. Maybe I would be better off dead. If I got out of here, I would probably end up with him again. I always went back to him.

I was so cold I almost felt warm. I wasn't sure how long I lied there with my eyes closed, not yet slipping out of consciousness, but when I opened them, the snow was becoming lighter.

I let my eyes close again, and just as a faint light began to shine against my closed eyelids, I fell into darkness.

---

Suddenly, I found myself in a dream. In that dream, I opened my eyes to the glare of headlights, and heard a distant, unfamiliar voice.

"What are you doing out here?! Are you okay?!"

Suddenly I felt warm arms lifting me from the ground. My wrist throbbed.

In what sort of dream could I feel pain?

The side of my bruised face gently came in contact with the front of a denim jacket. These arms around me were so warm that they seemed to scorch my skin.

"Why would someone be out here all alone? And on a night like this..." I hear the voice mumble, closer now. I recognize the voice as that of a man, but it is not familiar.

Suddenly a mixture of pain and relief flashed through my body.

_Naraku hadn't come back for me._

That thought was both a relived and terrified one.

Then, I felt my body being lied down somewhere warm. In a car? Yes, the backseat of a car. I heard the door by my feet close, and another door open, and I felt the motion of the car pulling back onto the highway.

_Where was I being taken? And by who?_

I felt entirely numb, and darkness consumed me again.

CH.1/END

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I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter of _A Heart Like Winter_!

**Please review and tell me what you think, and I hope to update soon! **

~**RaspberryBloodTablets  
**


	2. Phone Call

Hi! Me again!! Here is chapter 2, so I hope you enjoy!!

By the way, If I said in the last chapter, that InuYasha would appear in his human form... sorry, I lied. He still looks the same, just with Human ears instead. ^-^; Sorry!

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all.

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Chapter 2

Phone Call

(Kikyo POV)

-

-

I hadn't yet opened my eyes, but I was almost one-hundred percent sure that I was dead. First of all, everything was warm, and I was wrapped in something soft. A blanket?

The reason this made me think that I was dead, was because the last thing I remembered was being stuck on the side of an empty highway, in the middle of a terrible snow storm.

I waited for a few seconds before carefully opening one eye... and finding myself staring straight at the front of somebody's shirt. Or _jacket_, I should say. It was made of denim and looked very well worn.

My own eyes traveled up to see the face of this mysterious person, where I saw a pair of bright yellow-green eyes staring back at me. I jumped up with a start.

"W-who are you?!" I asked, my eyes frantically scanning the room, which was completely unfamiliar. The walls were a beige color, and I was lying on a gray couch with a heavy blanket on top of me.

"I was about to ask you the same question. Who are _you_?" he said, looking at me curiously.

Then it all came back to me. Somebody lifting me off the side of the road, and putting me in a car.

Who was this guy anyway?! Some kind of psychopath? A murderous one?

I glanced at him. He seemed harmless enough. He was a young man, who appeared to be in his early twenties. He had an unusual yellow eye color. His hair was semi-long and the color of fresh, white snow. His skin was pale, and he looked muscular, although not grotesquely so. Rather handsome, if you got past the weirder aspects of his features. I mentally scolded myself for thinking the last part, as it was entirely possible that he was a psychotic pedophile. He was sitting in a wooden chair in front of the couch that I was sitting on.

Without thinking, still slightly drowsy, I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"Are you Albino?"

He blinked, then glared at me.

"No. I am _not _an Albino."

I'm not sure why, but the expression on his face when he said that, like that of a frustrated child, made me dissolve into laughter.

"Hey, what are you laughing at?!" he asked, anger in his voice. My head shot up instinctively at the tone.

Until I realized, it was a different type of anger, no, not really anger, but a confused frustration. After that, I realized something even more confusing.

He wasn't going to hit me.

It seemed that he had read the fearful look on my face, for the next thing he said was full of concern:

"Are you okay? What were you doing out there anyway?"

"I- I feel fine," I told him, ignoring the second question, "But who are you, and why am I here?"

"I'm InuYasha. I found you on the side of the highway last night. I thought that you were dead, at first, but when I realized that you were alive, I figured that I should make sure you were okay."

He held out his hand, and I shook it hesitantly.

"Why didn't you take me to a hospital or something?" I asked nervously, glancing around what I now realized was a small apartment. I saw, draped over a chair, was my light jacket, scarf and purse.

"You only looked like you'd been out there for a few minutes. No visible frostbite or anything, figured you'd just fainted from shock, it didn't seem necessary."

A few minutes?

_Am I really that helpless?!_

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Kikyo," I said quickly, "Do you have a phone I can use? And where is this place?"

"Yeah," he said, gesturing to a small table on one side of the couch. When he told me the name of the street, I realized it wasn't even very far from the street where I lived with Naraku.

Most would think I was completely spineless, calling for him to come and get me, even after he left me behind...

But I was sure that deep down Naraku loved me, even if he had problems controlling his anger.

I picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number, one that I knew by heart, and waited for someone to pick up. The phone rang many times, and just as I was getting ready to hang up, the connection clicked.

"Hello?"

The sound of the voice made my blood run cold. Because it was absolutely and undoubtedly female. I considered hanging up, but then a thought occurred to me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, "I must have the wrong number."

"Oh, OK. Wait, who are you looking for?" said the voice on the other end of the line.

"I'm looking for Naraku--"

"Oh, yes, this is the right number!" she interrupted.

"Oh," I said, "Who are you?"

The voice on the other line giggled.

"Well, as of this morning, I'm his fiance"

Something in my brain failed to click. Even thought my mind was screaming, no _shrieking _the words '_hang up_' over and over, I was totally frozen.

"Congratulations," I said mechanically, "I didn't know he was seeing somebody. How long have you two been together?"

"Only a few months!" exclaimed the voice, giggling again.

I wanted to chuck the phone through the wall.

"Thank you. Goodbye." I told her.

"Wait, don't you want to talk to Naraku?"

"No, it isn't important anymore."

"Oh, alright."

Then she hung up. I let the phone fall into my lap, and stared off into space for a moment.

It didn't make any sense.

_'A few months.'_

_'I'm sick and tired of you, bitch.' _

Naraku hit me. He didn't cheat... Did he?

Apparently so.

I subconsciously glanced down at my arms, decorated with bruises and scars, some fading, some fresh and painful. My wrist was a deep purple-blue from where Naraku had twisted it the night before. I only realized in that moment that it was throbbing in pain.

"Are you okay?" asked InuYasha, who, I realized, had been sitting there watching me, this entire time. I had forgotten all about him.

"I'm fine," I said, standing, and throwing the blanket back onto the old couch.

I glanced down at myself. I was wearing the gray t-shirt and black jeans that I had been wearing the night before. I suddenly realized that I had been wearing a jacket for several different reasons, one of which was to cover the bruises on my arms, which were now completely visible.

I grabbed my coat, purse and scarf, and made my way towards the door.

"Where are you going?" asked InuYasha.

"Home." I said, and as I walked through (what I hoped was) the door exiting the apartment (and not a closet door or something).

Luckily, I was right in my assumption. I made my way onto the street outside of the apartment building, before I realized that I didn't have a home anymore.

CH.2/END

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As always, thank you so much for reading, and to all who review!!

I love you guys lots!!

So I hope that you liked this chapter anought that you'll review and tell me what you think!!

Have a nice evening!

~RaspberryBloodTablets


	3. Lost

A/N: Hello everybody! Massie (RaspberryBloodTablets) here!

I'm sorry that the update took so long, but I think it's best that I point out right away that I'm a person who gets writers block _very_ easily... Sorry about that!

Oh, by the way, I realized that I forgot to put warnings of the first chapter. Oops. Well the warnings for that chapter were 'violence and minor bad language', but this chapter has no warnings anyway, so I guess it really doesn't matter now. Once again, **thank you to everyone who reviewed **the previous two chapters! I **adore** you guys!!!

Really, I couldn't write without the support of all of you wonderful reviewers!!!

Please enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of it's characters. If I did, then there would be no need for this disclaimer. They all belong to their creator, the amazing Rumiko Takahashi, an no profit is ever being made from anything I write, ever. I'm just a fan.

* * *

-

-

Chapter 3

Lost

(Kikyo POV)

I met Naraku when I was a senior in high-school. He worked at my school as the assistant teachers-aid.

Yes, truthfully, Naraku is quite a few years older than me. Quite a few. That was reason number three that my family did not approve of him.

There was an entire list, with about fifty or so reasons listed. But most of them had seemed unimportant to me at the time.

Reason number ten was that he has shifty eyes. Number seven was that he gave my little sister, Kaede, a 'bad feeling', and therefore he 'must be a creep'.

Needless to say, after I left home to move in with Naraku, my family basically disowned me. I had lived with him for two years.

We had been living together for three and a half months before he started beating me.

Which led to this new development in my life, in which I was standing on the side of the road, a few feet away from a pay-phone in front of a strange building. Thinking that there was nobody in the entire world who I could possibly call in a situation like this.

After my relationship with Naraku because truly serious, there was no more contact with old friends, my family. My whole life was all about him. How to avoid making him angry.

On the 'good' days he was a wonderful person. He was kind and respected everybody and was just a really interesting, nice guy to be around. But he had a 'dark side' as I had often referred to it.

He would get mad at everybody and be extremely frustrated, and then at the end of the day he would take out all of his built-up anger out on me.

He was like a totally different person then.

At this point, I decided that I would be better off looking for a motel where I could stay for a while. It was the holiday season, so many people visiting their relatives would be checked into rooms, but really, there had to be a free room somewhere. Right?

---

Wrong.

I had no idea that the holiday season brought so many tourists to the city. Every place I had tried to find a room had been absolutely and invariably booked.

I was now standing on the exact street corner that I had left this morning, sitting on a bench which was slightly farther away from the same payphone.

As if that wasn't frustrating enough, around noon, I suddenly came to an entirely different realization. All of my personal belongings were still in Naraku's house. With him, and... his new fiancee.

I wondered how he would react if I just showed up on his doorstep and asked for my things. I wondered how _I_ would react.

What about his fiancee? That woman who I had spoken to on the phone. Has he told her about me? Did she know all along? Would she recognize my voice?

How was I supposed to go about this anyway? Surely I couldn't just knock on his door and say something like: "Um, you sort of forgot to give me my things when you left me on the side of the road to freeze to death."

Could I...?

I bury my face in my hands and try to think about what I should do. Night was beginning to fall. I had been searching for a place to stay all day, and had come back empty handed.

It was then that I heard an idling of a car on the street in front of me.

When I looked up, only one thought entered my mind.

_Why doesn't this guy just leave me alone? _

_Everybody else has..._

CH.3/END

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Okay, I know that the chapter was really short, but I haven't had a lot of time to write recently. Sorry about that!

I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter of _A Heart Like Winter_ enough to leave a review! And even if you didn't like it, I would still like to hear your constructive criticism so I can improve!

Thanks, and see you in the next chapter!

~RaspberryBloodTablets (But you can call me Massie or Massie-chan) ^-^


	4. Sighting

Hey, everybody! Thanks so much for patiently waiting for this new chapter!

I was having a lack of inspiration, but I suddenly found my muse again last night... while I was supposed to be studying for a science test. XD

So, anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks to everybody who reviewed!! I adore all of you!

Disclaimer: Hello. Disclaimer here. Translation: I do not own InuYasha.

* * *

Chapter 4 

Sighting

(Kikyo POV)

"Look, just get in the damn car already!"

"No."

"How stubborn are you, anyway?!"

"About as stubborn as you are!"

This was basically how our conversation had been proceeding for the last fifteen minutes or so.

I'd discovered that InuYasha had a strong stubborn streak. If he didn't get his own way, he grew angry quickly.

However, his anger seemed so tame and childish compared to the anger that I was used to, it didn't seem threatening in the slightest.

At that moment he looked so exasperated, I thought the was about to slam his head on the steeling wheel of his car. Which, I noticed, appeared to be old and not in the best of shape. Probably pre-owned.

This was getting ridiculous. A crowd was forming, as it was getting later. People were walking home from work. Children were walking home from school.

He was pulled over to the side of the road, while I was standing on the sidewalk, and we were arguing about whether or not I was going to get in his car. I couldn't remember the last time I had argued with someone. Usually I just accepted everything that happened to me and tried to think of what I could do to make things better. What I had done wrong.

But the impulse to argue with him was too strong, for some reason. Perhaps it was that I found his childlike behavior amusing. Or it could simply be that he was as stubborn as a donkey.

The people gathered around whispered. I felt like telling them to mind their own business.

"Look," he said again, "This is causing a scene. Just get in."

A random woman from the crowd walked up to me. She leaned and whispered in my ear.

"I wouldn't go with him. He seems to have anger management problems."

This guy? Anger management? Right. This woman was quite obviously not very well acquainted with _real_ anger.

Resisting the suddenly bitter urge to laugh, I glanced away from the woman.

That was when I saw her. Walking down the street, looking into the brightly lit store windows.

She looked to see why the crowd had formed, but I knew she couldn't see me.

Kaede.

The very sight of my younger sister was almost bringing tears to my eyes. I haven't seen her for so long. I can't meet her again like this.

Without a moments hesitation, I dive into the passenger seat of InuYasha's car.

"That was a sudden change of heart." he scoffed, pulling away from the curb. He circled around the block, probably waiting for me to give him some infromation as to where I live. Unless he thought I was homeless. Which, I realized, I was.

We drove for a while in silence, then he spoke without taking his eyes off the road.

"You knew that girl, huh?'

"What?" I asked, trying to play dumb. It didn't work.

"Don't try that with me. The girl who was walking down the sidewalk. As soon as you saw her you jumped into the car without looking back."

"That was... That was my sister. We haven't spoken for years," I admitted quietly.

He nodded, as if understanding, then pulled up in front of the same apartment building I had left that morning.

"It's late. You can stay here again, if you want."

I sighed, but nodded resignedly. It wasn't like I had another choice.

We exited the car and made our way toward the building.

Once we reached the door to his apartment, InuYasha unlocked the door.

As we stepped inside, he closed the door none too gently behind him. He really didn't seem like the gentle type.

The apartment was warm, but I didn't remove my coat at first. I waited, trying to think of cold things. Polar Bears. Arctic winds.

It wasn't working.

Quietly shedding the coat and hanging it on a hook by the door, I walked to the couch where I stayed last night and sat down.

I crossed my arms, as if in defensive stance. I was completely unsure of what I should do.

All I could think about was seeing Kaede earlier. Did she still think about me? Did she hate me?

"You can sleep on the couch," he told me gruffly. I noted that the polite thing to do would to be offer me the bedroom, which I could now see across the room, through an open door. Not that I minded the couch. I'd never had a grudge against couches before.

I looked up at InuYasha, and briefly noticed him staring at me.

"Is there something on my face?" I asked, moving my hand to my cheek. It stung.

I quickly realized that there must be a large bruise covering one side on my face. As there were other bruises covering my arms, outlined by the occasional puckered pattern of scars long ago inflicted, with some more recent.

I shouldn't have taken off the coat.

I watched as he walked over to the mini-kitchen on one side of the apartment, he poured a glass of water from the sink taps, and walking back across the room, handed it to me.

"Here. You look thirsty."

I thanked him quietly and took a sip of the water. I tasted deliciously cool, and the icy feel of it sliding down my throat was wonderful.

I took slow sips, answering the occasional question from InuYasha. None were prying questions, all reasonable.

_Do you live around here?_

_Yes. I did.  
_

_Are you hungry?_

_No._

_Would you like an ice-pack for your face? (He was referring to the bruise.)  
_

_No, thank you. _

_Are you sure? It looks pretty swollen._

_I'm sure. I'm fine._

I'll admit I found the question about the ice-pack a bit uncomfortable, but he didn't ask me about how I was hurt, and for that I was grateful.

Yet, I couldn't help noticing the way he looked me. Almost confused, yet... there was something else in his eyes, something I couldn't read. Sadness?

"Is something the matter?" I asked.

"No, nothing," he said, "I'll get you some more water."

I thanked him as he took my empty glass.

Slowly, I allowed my mind to wander back to thoughts of Kaede.

Then, I noticed a table with a framed photograph sitting on it, the only thing on the otherwise empty tabletop.

I took a closer look at the girl behind the glass.

Aside from a few small differences, it was as if I was looking into a mirror.

CH.4/END

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Thanks for reading! I would be eternally grateful to all of you amazing reviewers if you would give me some honest feedback on this chapter!

Want to find out what happens next? I'll try to update more quickly this time!

~Massie (Yes, I no longer go by Massie-chan, because some people *Cough*Em*Cough* laughed at me XD)


	5. Company

Hey guys! Sorry that it's been so long since the last update, but I've had a serious case of writers block! I'm also sorry to say that this chapter isn't very long, but hopefully you all enjoy it anyway!

Also, I have discovered that there is another fic in the InuYasha fandom with (almost) the same name of this one that was published long before this story, but I would just like to say, if the author of that fic is reading this, that I am very sorry, and was not aware of that fic at the time this one was created, and that I did not try to steal/copy the name. But I also do not want to change the title of this fic, so if you do ever by chance stumble upon this story, please know that I was not trying to steal/claim your title. Thank you.

(Cheerleader-ish) Disclaimer: Do I own InuYasha? No Give me an N, give me an O, what does that spell? NO!!! XDD

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Chapter 5

Company

(Kikyo POV)

-

-

At first, simply from the shock that I felt, I jumped backward, almost falling onto the floor.

I blinked hard, to clear my eyes, then looked again. Still a mirror image.

"Are you okay?"

I turned around to face InuYasha who was scowling and trying not to look at the picture on the table.

"W-who's that...?" I managed to stutter out, suddenly feeling nervous.

He looked at the picture, and the sadness appeared again. Then he turned to glare at me.

"None of your business!" he snapped.

"I-I'm sorry," I muttered, looking away. I felt stupid. I shouldn't have tried to pry. If I had been at home, this would have resulted in punishment...

_Home._

Suddenly, the word seemed out of place to describe where I had stayed with Naraku. I really didn't know what to make of this.

My shame must have shown on my face, as he leaned closer to me, "Look, it doesn't matter. It just... doesn't concern you."

His sudden closeness seemed to effect me in an unexplainable way. A shiver ran up my spine, and found myself leaning forward, shrinking the distance between us even more.

So close to a stranger, so close that our lips were almost touching, and yet I no longer felt frightened or ashamed.

Suddenly, without any forward warning, the door to the apartment flew open.

"Well, well. What do we have here?" came a smiling voice from the doorway. I jumped back so quickly that I slid and hit my head on the table beside the old couch. InuYasha jumped back with equal speed, dropping the glass of water that I only just realized the he had been holding.

"Jeez, Miroku! Learn how to knock, idiot!" cried InuYasha, bending to retrieve the now empty glass from the floor.

"Sorry," replied Miroku, who was still grinning and quite obviously not sorry at all, "But I was just wondering who this was..."

He walks toward me, leaning in to get a god look at my face past the bruises and swelling. Suddenly, a flash of recognition registers in his eyes, and he moves away, glancing at the picture and then at me again.

"Unbelievable--" he began, leaning closer to me again, with a look of awe on his face.

InuYasha walked up beside him and shoved him away.

"Leave her alone, lecher."

"Hey!" exclaimed Miroku, pretending to be offended, even though it was obvious that he was used to and comfortable with the term.

Then he turned to me, laughing.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry if I bothered you..."

"Kikyo," I said.

"Right. I'm sorry if I bothered you Kikyo, but I have to say that you really are the spitting image of Kagome."

Just as Miroku had finished his sentence, InuYasha smacked him in the stomach.

"Shut up, idiot." he snapped, looking away, then towards me.

Without thinking, my arm sprung up to shield my face.

He gave me a questioning look, but then turned back to Miroku, who was now sitting on the floor in an awkward position.

"Fine," he said, "Shutting up now."

InuYahsa muttered something under his breath that I couldn't quite hear.

Then from the still-open door into the hallway of the apartment building walked and girl with a long green skirt and her dark hair in a high ponytail.  
"Miroku, what's taking you so long?!" she snapped, rolling her eyes as she walked into the room.

She looked from me, to InuYasha, and then back again.

"Oh," she said, "I didn't realize you had company."

CH.5/END

* * *

So anyway, thanks so much to everyone who read and reviewed! I **really** adore you guys!!

Thank you so much for your support, and I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter enough to review and that you will continue to read and review future chapters!

Thanks so much!

~Massie


	6. Friends

Hi everyone! I know that my updates are usually farther apart, but I wanted to post this chapter as a surprise Christmas present for all of my lovely readers and reviewers! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, just call it an... um, (Insert Holiday here) Present! So, anyway, yeah. I adore you guys, and hope that you will keep reading in 2010!!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING.

* * *

Chapter 6

Friends

(Kikyo POV)

-

-

That night, the first night of many that I would end spending in that place, I learned three things:

First, that Miroku was InuYasha's best friend who lived in the apartment across the hall with his girlfriend of two years, Sango, who happened to be the person who had so casually walked into the apartment to scold Miroku.

Secondly, that I liked Sango. She was the kind of girl I might have wanted to be friends with in high school, if I had bothered to socialize with people other than Naraku and his 'friends', none of whom actually attended said high school. Sango was the type who seemed very confident, but not in a conceited way, and spoke what was on her mind. If Miroku was acting like a pervert, or if InuYasha was being "to sarcastic/stoic/mean/judgmental/etc.", she would not hesitate to tell them so. She had smiling eyes, and a light, pretty laugh.

Thirdly was that absolutely no one was permitted to talk about 'Kagome', the mysterious girl from the picture, which InuYasha promptly hid in a drawer when he noticed Sango glancing back and forth between the photo and myself.

Another thing that I liked about Sango was that, even though she quite obviously noticed my swollen, bruised face, as well as various other scars along my neck, shoulders, and arms, thanks to the fact that I had taken off my coat again, she didn't pry.

Miroku, however, had no such courtesy. He tried to, but finally a few questions slipped out.

I grudgingly admitted that I did not have place to stay at the moment, other than InuYasha. Who, no, I explained, I was _not_ dating. My mind flashed to the scene that Miroku had walked in on, and I could feel a blush creep up my neck.

"That's a shame," Miroku said, looking at InuYasha, "You two could look good together."

"Can it, baka," snapped InuYasha.

Sango told me that she had some clothes that I could borrow, and I suddenly became very self-conscious of how I must look, still wearing the clothes that I had been left on the side of the road with.

I thanked her several times, as she took me across the hall, leaving Miroku and InuYasha behind.

"Sorry that Miroku was acting so nosy," she said, "But he can be a real idiot sometimes."

Even though her words were harsh, she smiled with a far-away look on her face as she called Miroku an idiot.

I quickly looked at the floor, but not before a stray thought popped into my head.

_Is that what loving somebody was supposed to be like? That saying their very name brought a smile to your face?_

I tried to shake them off, but the words that my mind had supplied still lingered.

Sango unlocked the door to her apartment and led me inside. It looked like InuYasha's apartment in layout, but somehow seemed warmer and more inviting. The main room had a couch scattered with soft looking cushions in shades of pale blue and beige. In front of it was a glass-topped coffee table with various items like opened mail, keys, and a purse spilling packets of chewing gum and small change everywhere were thrown haphazardly on the tabletop. There was a mini-kitchen in the corner, a large window covered in rose-colored curtains, and two doors to the far side of the room.

"That's the bathroom," Sango said, gesturing to the door on the left, "You can go in there and get cleaned up. I'll go find some clothes for you."

With that, she disappeared through the door on the right.

I walked into the bathroom, which was just as warm and calming as the rest of the apartment. The shower was curtained in periwinkle blue, and the room smelled like lavender soap and lemon grass.

I gently removed my clothes, trying not to irritate the more recent bruises.

I stepped into the shower and let the warm water wash over me, and it seemed as if just for a few minutes, I was able to forget about everything leading up to this moment, and why I was here.

Without thinking, I scrubbed at my face, and when I pulled my hands away, they were covered in blood. My swollen cheek throbbed.

Then it all came rushing back. My mind filled with thoughts of Naraku, and... InuYasha. I somehow found myself comparing the two.

Even if InuYasha was impatient and sarcastic... he seemed _gentle_ in a way I almost couldn't place. So different from Naraku. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to remember that fleeting moment in his apartment. When we were so close together that it seem like he was about to...

A sharp knock on the bathroom door knocked me out of my haze.

"Kikyo, are you almost done?" I barely hear Sango's voice over the sound of the running water of the shower.

"Yes," I replied, turning off the faucet.

The door opened in just a slightly inaudible crack as Sango tossed some clean clothes onto a small counter next to the door.

"Those are for you!" she called.

"Thank you," I said in return, unsure if she could hear me through the closed door.

I picked up the clothes and turned them over in my hands. A soft white sweater and a pair of black jeans.

I dressed, and the clothes fit well and felt comfortable, except for the jeans which were too long in the legs, causing me to cuff the hems several times. This wasn't surprising, I had always been small, and Sango was at least a head taller than me.

After I finished dressing, I walked back into the main room of the apartment. Sango was sitting on the couch, with a shopping bag sitting beside her.

"Here," she said, "some more clothes that you can wear."

"Thank you very much," I said in return.

"So," she asked, glancing at the doorway, "do you want to go back across the hall?"

"Sure," I said, "Lets go."

And with that, we left the room.

CH.6/END

* * *

Thank you all so much for reading, and remember, reviews are the best holiday gift ever, so.. yeah. Please review!

This will be my last update of 2009. I adore all of you guys and look forward to your feedback in the New Year!

See ya next year,

Massie


	7. Overheard

Oh my goodness, I am SO SORRY for the long wait for this chapter, and I'm sorry about it being so short. I've been busy with studying and essay-writing (and re-writing) and the like. Sorry!

Thanks for all the lovely reviews!

Disclaimer: Do I LOOK like they type of person who owns anything of importance?! Oh, wait...

Well, don't sue me!

* * *

Chapter 7

Overheard

(Kikyo POV)

-

-

Sango and I left her apartment and started across the hall, when she abruptly stopped in front of the door to InuYasha's apartment.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot something in my apartment," she said, "You just go in without me. I'll be there in a minute."

With that, she turned on her heel and vanishing back into her apartment.

I stood there in the hallway for a moment, wondering if I should just wait for her instead, then finally turned and raised my fist to the door and was about to knock, when I heard Miroku's voice from the other side of the door.

"So you really thought it was her, at first? So then, you really haven't given up on looking."

There was a short pause, then InuYasha replied.

"Of course I haven't given up. She has to be out there somewhere. And I was so sure that it was her, too..."

His voice had a tone that I hadn't heard it take before, much different from it's usual sarcastic quality. It was just so...

Empty.

"InuYasha, have you ever thought that maybe...she's just...gone?"

Emotion made it's way into InuYasha's voice once again, as it flared with a sound of desperation that he attempted to disguise as anger.

"Of course not! People don't just disappear..." He said voice now shaking, "Forever."

I was immediately aware of what they must talking about. When InuYahsa had found me, he had mistaken me for someone else. For Kagome.

That explained so much. Why he just brought me here without stopping at a hospital first. Why he seemed so awkward around me, unsure of what to say.

Because he had brought me here thinking I was someone else. A mistake.

Suddenly, I realized that their conversation had stopped altogether. Everything was silent.

Then, the door in front of my face swung open and I was greeted with InuYasha's piercing glare.

"Well," he snapped, "are you planning on standing out here and eavesdropping all evening, or what?!"

He was visibly upset, and when he reached his hand toward my shoulder, without any forethought, I slapped his hand away as hard as I could, and jumped backward.

"Get away from me!" I shreiked.

Upon seeing my reaction, his face quickly changed from an expression of anger to one of concern.

It took me a few minutes to register what everything: How loud I had just yelled, the fact that I was shaking, and, I realized with a visible shock, actually _crying_. Hot tears were streaming down my face.

I heard the door to Sango's apartment swing open behind me, just as Miroku appeared in the doorway behind InuYasha.

"What happened?" they asked in unison.

I quickly tried to compose myself.

"N-nothing..." I managed to stutter out.

Miroku and Sango exchanged looks of concern.

"I'm...sorry about that," said InuYasha, the ever-irritated tone of his voice becoming as close as it could to apologetic.

"I-it's okay," I said, "I guess... I'm just a little jumpy."

"Well, if that's all settled, let's go inside!" said Sango, who was eying a elderly woman who had left her apartment to find the source of all the commotion, and was now giving them each very disapproving looks.

"Kid's these days," she muttered, walking back into her apartment.

It was Miroku who laughed at this first, but within seconds it became contagious among all of us.

I felt instantly surprised by how easy it felt to laugh with all of these complete strangers.

CH.7/END

* * *

Thank you for reading, and please review~!

-Massie


	8. Returning

I just want to take this opportunity to say to everyone that **I am so, so sorry**.

There is no excuse for my stupid insecurity and prolonged writers block, and if you don't want to read this story anymore, then I completely understand.

**I am so thankful** to everyone who has stuck with me through the writing process. **You guys make this whole thing worthwhile**, and **even if I've done a terrible job of showing it, I adore you guys**. Really.

I decided to **rewrite** chapter eight, since the first chapter eight I posted didn't fit with my original story plan, and something went horribly wrong with the warnings that the beginning of the chapter. I **didn't feel right** simply scrapping the failed chapter, so **I will post it as a one-shot**, where it will be an** 'alternate' **chapter eight, going more into depth of the incident mentioned at the beginning of this re-write.

I know I've been making **a lot of mistakes** as a writer recently. I'm really sorry about all of that. **I hope that I can learn from each of my mistakes**, however, and use what I have learned to **become a better writer in the future.**

Another huge **thanks** to all you readers, I will try to update this story on a much more regular basis for all of you.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. That's right, nothing. Except for a useless sign that I painted for a school fund-raiser. And I don't think that _anyone_ wants that.

* * *

Chapter 8 (Rewrite)

Returning

(Kikyo POV)

-

There was an incident. An incident during which Naraku saved me, an incident that caused me to leave home. That was how he became my everything.

And the next day, when I woke up in InuYasha's apartment, I new I had to go back, just one last time. Even if _he_ didn't want me anymore.

I told myself that it was because I needed to get my things, so I could separate myself from _him_.

I told myself that I didn't miss _him _at all, not really.

_Not at all._

When I awoke, I was staring at the unfamiliar ceiling above my head.

I sat up and looked around, but everything was quiet. InuYasha must have been sleeping.

I was as quiet as I could be, as I crept into the washroom to change out of the clothes Sango had lent me and back into my own tattered outfit.

I gently folded the borrowed outfit and the blanket that I had slept under, and wrote a note.

A note saying that I was thankful for all that InuYasha and Sango and Miroku had provided me with, and that I was sorry for barging into their lives so unexpectedly.

I gently unlocked the door and crept into the hallway.

Sango was standing there in the hallway, stopped mid-stride from where she had been walking.

She took in my appearance, and seem to instantly understand what was going on.

"You're _leaving_." she whispered, just looking at me, her face unreadable.

I stood there silently for a few moments, then nodded.

"For good?"

Another nod.

She glanced at the door to InuYasha's apartment.

"Does he know?"

I shook my head no. "He was still asleep."

The I saw a look of panic cross her face.

"Then you can't leave _yet_."

"What?" I asked, genuinely confused. "But I left a note. It might not be the best way to thank him for everything, but-"

Sango's face paled.

"A note? You left a _note_. No, you can't just take off like that..."

"Why not?"

"_Because_, I mean, there's no way that you could know, but after what happened... This would be so similar, and you-"

Suddenly, she stopped herself, aware that she had revealed too much.

What was going on, anyway?

And, just like I had inevitably been expecting, the door directly beside me began to open.

I looked over to see InuYasha there, dressed in an old pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt, with his seemingly signature and incredibly distressed denim jacket thrown over top.

He held the paper note lazily between his thumb and index finger.

"So where are you going, anyway? I assume you'll need a drive."

---

I tied to ignore the obvious anxiety building up inside of me.

I was going to see _him_ again, and I wasn't sure if it would be a bad or good thing.

I'd said that InuYasha shouldn't even bother driving me, because I had somewhere I needed to go before I went back to "where I was staying". Wherever _that_ was.

I obviously wouldn't be able to stay with _him _again. _He _had a fiancee now, after all.

So where was I going to go? I knew that letting InuYasha drive me was a bad idea. It was an even _worse_ idea to let Sango tag along. She sat in the back seat, and watched the landscape fly by as I gave InuYasha directions to _his_ place.

Sango would of course insist that I go back with them.

I thought of as many of the different people that _he_ and I had used to spend time with. Could I stay with any of them? Did I even know any of their addresses?

I didn't realize, until we came to the end of Naraku's driveway, that I hadn't been allowing myself to think his name this whole time.

A tiny girl in a pink jacket with a matching scarf was talking animatedly to the open front doorway as she made her way outside. As we came closer, I allowed myself to look at her hand, where I saw a ring.

"Is this the place?" asked InuYasha, a sudden strain in his voice. He seemed to recognize the place.

"Yeah..." I said, slightly surprised by how tense he looked.

Sango, who had been happily chatting the whole drive, fell silent.

And that's when he stepped out of the doorway, and I felt all of the air drain out of my lungs.

How could seeing him again cause this terrifying ache in my chest?

I was startled to hear a small sound, reminiscent of a growl from the driver's seat beside me.

Sango looked worriedly at InuYasha.

"Hey, InuYasha... Do you _know _that guy?"

There was silence. We had halted at the end of the driveway, but none of us made a move to get out.

By now, Naraku and the woman had both stopped to stare at the car.

"Go and do whatever it is you need to do here." he hissed, his eyes pinned on Naraku.

There was a brief moment of hesitation, then I opened the door and stepped onto the sidewalk.

I could have sworn that InuYasha muttered something along the lines of "I never forget a face", but I couldn't be sure.

Because I was already transfixed.

Staring at _him_, letting painful memories wash over me.

CH.8/END

* * *

This was my **original** plan for chapter eight.

So, do you like it better than the alternate chapter? Do you hate it? All opinions are welcome, so please tell me!

**Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, alerting, and adding this story to your favorites!** I will try to update much more frequently from now on.

-Massie


	9. Reunion

**Hi everybody! Sorry that this chapter is a few days late, but I've been super busy with school stuff lately, so sadly I wasn't able to get this up on time.**

**I hope that you guys can forgive me, really.**

**This isn't really much like my usual author's notes, because I don't know what to say about this chapter.**

**So lets get on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: If you think I own InuYasha, then I recommend you get your head checked out. Haha, just kidding, that was kind of mean. But seriously: I. DO. NOT. OWN.**

* * *

Chapter 9

Reunion

(Kikyo POV)

* * *

Whoever said that everything in life makes sense was wrong. Dead wrong.

Because there was nothing about this that made sense.

He didn't want me anymore. I shouldn't want him.

Anyone else would hate him, despise him, and yet I just couldn't. Somehow, I couldn't make myself believe that this was really happening.

Being with Naraku had always been safe. It had been right. _Hadn't _it?

I'd thought so. In a way, I _still _ thought so.

But he didn't think it was right or okay. He didn't think it was anything at all, because he had already found my replacement.

And now I was staring right at him.

He looked exactly the same, I thought.

Of course, it was stupid to think something like this, because it had only been a few days since I had last saw him.

But still, my eyes traveled over him, taking in his familiar features. His wavy dark hair, always worn long. His haunting complexion, a shade of ivory. And then I heard his voice.

"Kikyo," he spoke to me, his voice betraying no emotion, "Are you here for your things?"

Of course he knew exactly what I wanted. That was so like him.

Some part deep inside of me wanted to hear that he was excited to see me after all this time, but in reality I knew that it wasn't possible.

"Yes." I said, with a quick nod.

I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. So I turned my gaze to his fiancee instead.

She was very pretty. Her hair was a light brown with darker shades mixed in, and she was short in a very cute way. Her eyes were wide, and she wore minimal make-up. Her smile was huge and radiant.

And somewhere inside of me, a voice was screaming at her. Telling her to run away, that she was falling into a trap.

I wanted that voice to be wrong. She was too much like me. Or rather, the me I was back then.

I didn't want her to be like I was now.

She walked up to me, and shook my hand enthusiastically.

"So _you're_ Kikyo!"

I had been sure that Naraku hadn't told her about me. Had she known all along that...?

"You're one of Naraku's friends from work, right?!" she asked, her smile never wavering.

I was momentarily stunned by the lie, but I quickly nodded and decided to play along.

"Yes, that's right."

Why did she think that a friend from work would have to come over to pick up personal belongings?

"You too used to stay together to cut down on living expenses, right?"

That explains it.

"Yes." I replied.

Looking over the girl's shoulder I saw Naraku visibly relax at my words.

But then something else caught his attention. He was staring at InuYasha's car, or more specifically, at InuYasha, who was _in _the car. Well, actually, he wasn't staring so much as he was _glaring_.

What was going on?

"So you brought some _friends_ with you...?" he muttered absently, not really speaking to anyone in particular.

Suddenly snapping back to attention, Naraku turned to me.

"Right, your things. Come with me." he said, turning to the house.

"I really should be going now," said the girl, as she walked over and kissed him on the cheek, "I'll see you later."

And with that, she walked away, waving to InuYasha and Sango as she passed by the car.

I followed Naraku into the house, trying to ignore the looks I was getting from the people in the car.

Sango wore an expression of confusion. InuYasha, one of hostility.

I entered the house cautiously, and it all looked the same. Until we came to our room, that is.

_His _room, I quickly corrected myself. I had no place here anymore.

All of my things were gone. It was like I had never lived here... Never left a single trace of myself. I hovered in the doorway as Naraku walked in ahead of me.

"Your things are in the closet," he told me, gesturing to the old storage closet in the back of the room, that he and myself had never used, favoring an old white-painted dresser that sat on the other side of the room as a method of storage.

I nodded and sighed inwardly as I walked across the room. By some stroke of good luck, I must have come on one of his better days. He didn't seem mad, I thought, until I heard the door close behind me.

I turned to see him leaning against the closed door, glaring at me.

"What business do you have coming back here, and bringing someone like _him_? Where did you meet him, anyway?" asked Naraku, his tone viscous.

Someone like "him"? Could he mean InuYasha?

So they _did_ know each other.

He moved towards me, and I knew what was going to happen. But this time, instead of wanting to stand there and meekly accept my punishment, I wanted to run.

_I didn't have to be here. I could get out._

This thought occurred as strange to me, but nonetheless, I wanted to act on it.

I desperately wanted to act on it.

He kept moving across the room towards me, and time seemed to move in slow motion.

And just as he came to stand before me, and, with nothing but anger in his eyes, drew back his arm, my mind started screaming for me to run. But I couldn't, because I knew that I still owed something to the person standing before me...

So I stood still and waited for the impact.

But it never came, because the door flew open and Naraku was no longer poised to attack me.

* * *

END/CH.9

* * *

**So was it good, or bad, or horrendous, or what?**

**I would appreciate letting me know!**

**Thanks so much to everyone who has read and reviewed this story, you guys are the very best. I couldn't keep going with this story, if I didn't have your support!**

**Sorry for the late update!**

**-Massie**


	10. Walking Away

I have a real love hate relationship with this chapter. I got out all the ideas that I had, but am slightly displeased with the converstaion, although I tried re-wording it differently, several times...

I've had a lot of ideas for this story recently!

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or anything related. It belongs to it's original creator, Rumiko Takahashi.**

* * *

Chapter 10

Walking Away

(Kikyo POV)

* * *

InuYasha's fist came in square contact with Naraku's jaw, and I almost fell backward in shock.

It all happened so fast, that I barely had time to think.

And then Naraku fell to the floor, unconscious.

"That was for my brother, you bastard." muttered InuYasha to Naraku's sleeping form.

Then, he turned to me and said, "Get your things, we should get out of here."

The _we_ rolled off his tongue, and made it obvious that he intended for me to go back with him and Sango. I tried to follow his command, still slightly stunned, but I stumbled over my own feet halfway to the closet.

InuYasha walked up t the closet and yanked open the door. The only thing in there was a neat pile of boxes, presumably my things. He gathered them up in his arms and carried them towards the doorway.

I couldn't do anything but stand there and stare at Naraku, passed out in the middle of the floor.

"We can't just leave him there..." I mumbled.

InuYasha turned to me.

"Look," he said, "I know about this guy, and I saw what he was about to do just now. He deserves to wake up cold and alone."

And then he walked out.

I must have followed, but everything was a blur. I didn't remember closing Naraku's front door behind me, or getting back in InuYasha's car, or listening to Sango's worried questions, but I _must_ have.

It was all a blank.

It was as if one minute, I was stumbling away from Naraku, and the next, I was back in InuYasha's apartment. I was sitting on a hard wooden chair, staring up at the ceiling. I slowly came to my senses, and realized that the room was cold. I shivered slightly.

I glanced at the clock. It was late, despite my not remembering the day going by.

I looked around the dim apartment, thinking that InuYasha was probably asleep at this time. That's why I was so surprised when I looked up and saw him leaning against the wall across the room from me.

When he spoke, his voice sounded far away,as if he was speaking to someone who would never hear his words.

"That guy... I remember him. He was part of a gang. My older brother got mixed up with them, ended up throwing his life away. Died when I was in junior high. It was an overdose."

My eyes widened. I knew the kind of things that Naraku was involved in... But this was so awful.

"I'm sorry." I said, thinking how weak and stupid my words must sound.

InuYasha shook his head.

"Don't be. My brother always hated my guts. He was only my half brother, and he lived with his mother, so I never really got much of a chance to know him before he died."

There were a few long moments of silence.

"Listen, no matter what that guy said... You didn't deserve to be hurt like that. You really didn't."

I shook my head sharply.

"You don't understand-"

"But I do understand," he said, cutting me off, "I understand it perfectly. He let you down."

_He let you down._

I wanted to deny it. I wanted to fight and scream and deny it, but... I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

I felt as if there wasn't an ounce of strength left in my body. I was devoid of energy.

Slowly, I watched the world spin before my eyes and fade into darkness.

* * *

I had a strange but very vivid dream that night.

In that dream, I was wandering aimlessly through a maze of trees. Somewhere in a deep, deep forest.

I'd thought I was alone, and that I would surely only become more lost if I continued to wander.

Then, as if out of nowhere, InuYasha was standing before me.

"Do you believe in second chances?" he asked.

I tried to speak, but it felt as if my mouth was filling with water every time I breathed. It was like I was slowly drowning.

So I simply nodded my head.

I frown crossed InuYasha's face. He seemed to be displeased with my answer...

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I could feel the sunlight shining on me. I opened one eye and saw that light was flooding through the apartment's windows.

How long had it been since the last sunny day...?

Long enough. Too long.

I opened my eyes wide, and was surprised by how intensely aware I was of everything. I wasn't even slightly tired, and I noticed something else as well.

Maybe I didn't feel quite as numb.

* * *

END/CH.10

* * *

The title of this chapter had a special significance to me, as saying that this time, instead of being beaten down, Kikyo was the one who walked away.

Thank you all so much for reading this! Please let me know if you liked it or not!

Love,

Massie


	11. Questions

Okay, sorry for the epic lateness of this update, but I've been pretty busy recently. I know that's no real excuse, but...

So sorry.

Please enjoy this chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. I'm willing to bet you already knew that though, right?**

* * *

Chapter 11

Questioning

* * *

The day went by quickly, and I rarely had a moment for my own thoughts.

Sango had decided that I needed to go shopping with her.

I had never really been much of one for shopping anyway, but during this busy time of year, stores were always far too crowded for my liking. Nonetheless, I decided that it might not be as bad if I was shopping with Sango, because of her cheerful attitude and tendency to be incredibly optimistic.

We passed by what seemed like the hundredth window display, as we walked down the street.

Sango stopped in front of one of the glass panes to admire a frilly red dress. She smiled to herself, then sighed.

"I could never afford something like that," she said wistfully, "But it sure is nice..."

As I soon discovered, shopping with Sango didn't exactly involve _purchasing_ anything, but rather fawning over something or trying it on, only to put it solemnly back on the shelf after looking at the unreasonably high price tag.

Window shopping was a concept relatively new to me, as any "shopping" that I had done in the past had mostly consisted of making a list of necessary groceries, rushing into the store, buying said necessary items as fast as possible, and getting out.

Sango's way was much more time consuming.

Even though the minutes had gone by in a flash, it must have been four hours, at the very least.

As we walked, silence began to stretch out, which was unusual.

I took a deep breath,and decided that I would ask the question that had been chewing at the back of my mind for some time. I wondered if this was really the appropriate place, but I decided to go for it.

"Sango, I need to ask you... A question."

She looked up and gave me one of her kind smiles.

"Sure. About what?"

"About... Kagome. Who is she? What happened to her?"

* * *

Sango and I returned to the building that evening to find InuYahsa and Miroku in InuYasha's apartment, playing cards.

Miroku was joking around, as per usual, and InuYasha was, well... Acting like InuYasha. Making sarcastic remarks, and such.

Bits of the conversation from earlier swam through my head, but I was too confused and tired to sort them all out.

I could barely look at InuYasha. I felt like I had gone behind his back, and if I said a word to him, it would seem too much like I felt sorry for him.

Something told me that he wouldn't take too kindly to that.

Instead I sat with Sango, as she occasionally commented on Miroku's lack of skill at whatever card game he and InuYasha were playing, and made small contributions to the conversation, nodding when it was appropriate.

I was absently glancing out the window, when I noticed something.

InuYasha seemed to be staring at me.

I quickly chalked this up to personal paranoia on my part, but even though I was looking back at him, he was still looking at me. The room was quiet.

"Um.. Kikyo?" asked Sango, a slight look of concern on her face.

I snapped out of my daze. "Yes?"

"I think InuYasha asked you a question..."

A rush of heat spread up my neck and over my cheeks, my face flushing as red as a tomato. So _that_ was why he had been looking at me. He was waiting for the response to a question that I had been too spaced-out to hear.

"I'm sorry... Um, what was that...?" I stammered.

"I was just asking if you wanted to close the window." I looked up and saw that my perch was, indeed, right next to the only window in the room, which was open. It's cold air surrounded me.

"Oh, um, sorry..." I muttered, closing the window.

"What a space-case." he muttered. My head reflexively snapped up at his comment, but when I looked at his face, I realized...

He was _smiling_.

It was a joke.

I laughed uncertainly, unused to seeing this side of InuYasha.

I wasn't really sure what I should say next. I wasn't used to joking around. I'd never had a very good sense of humor, and whatever bit if such that I managed to build up in high school soon disappeared after moving in with Naraku.

I realized that I was still laughing, but it no longer sounded happy. It was more nervous or pre-homicidal. When people laughed like I was just laughing in public, mothers told their children not to get too close to the crazy person walking down the street.

Everyone seemed to be giving me strange looks, except for InuYasha, who seemed to almost understand my awkwardness. Gone was his joking demeanor, quickly replaced by his usual sarcastic scowl.

But just for a fraction of a second, I had seen him smile...

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Miroku and Sango shoot each other meaningful looks.

* * *

That night, when InuYasha was asleep, I opened the drawer on the end-table in the apartment's living room.

I gently and quietly extracted the framed photo of Kagome, and looked at it for several moments.

"I can't believe that happened to you..." I whispered. I could hear the sadness in my own voice.

I slid the photo back in the drawer and eased it shut.

For a moment, I thought I detected some movement in the doorway, of InuYasha's room, but I couldn't be sure, because when I glanced in that direction, there was nobody there.

* * *

CH.11/END

* * *

Okay, again, I'm sorry that this was so late. I hope that you were able to forgive me and enjoy this chapter anyways.

I hope to update this much more frequently from now on! Thanks so much for all the support of my readers and reviewers, you guys are great!

So, did you like this chapter? Hate it? Please let me know!

Hope to be here again soon!

-Massie


	12. Searching

Okay, I know it's not by much, but this chapter is a TAD earlier than the last one.

I would like to thank everyone who read the previous chapters, and to all those who reviewed- you guys are so great, and knowing that you are out there reading this makes me want to try even harder to improve as a writer.

**Disclaimer: Seriously. I do not own. Everyone knows the drill by now.**

* * *

Chapter 12

Searching

* * *

That night, I had a very vivid dream.

In that dream, I was standing in a glass phone booth... but outside that glass, I could see nothing but swirling snow, flying everywhere.

I clutched the cold plastic of the slender telephone tight in my shaky hands, holding it to my ear.

As this happened, all I could think was of how selfish I was.

A sweet childish voice speaks on the other end of the line. It startles me. I hadn't thought that anyone was there.

"Please tell them. Tell them I'll be back soon."

I breathe shakily. It's all most as if my glass cell is running out of oxygen.

"No. You can't come back, please..."

There was a long pause. The same small, innocent tone sounds again. It sounded hurt little girl.

"Why don't you want me to come back...?"

I feel tears slipping down my cheeks. I am now convinced that I am a monster. My voice sounds grotesque to my own ears.

"Because if you do, I'll fade away..."

* * *

Days grew increasingly warmer after that, passing in odd, uneven stretches.

One day, I woke up feeling rather strange. Not really anything too odd, but rather that something was simply amiss.

At first, I thought I might be getting sick, that the odd feelings might be the beginning signs of a virus.

But I soon realized that it was just the opposite.

Some nagging pains that I had grown accustomed to- a bruised patch on my elbow, an ache in my ankle- were starting to fade. More recent scrapes were healing for the most part- although some of the deeper ones would leave scars, no question about it.

There was more to this odd feeling as well, but I couldn't place it just yet.

I sat up on the couch where I had been sleeping for so long now, and pulled my knees tightly to my chest, wrapping arms around them, and wrapping myself in the blankets more securely.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I didn't want to remember things right now, didn't want to think about my past...

And yet, I knew that it would give me some perspective. Sorting things out would be more of a help than a hindrance, in the future.

I let my memories pour over me. And not just the memories of my life with Naraku, either. All of them.

I remembered the day my parents had brought Kaede home from the hospital, how she looked like some kind of cherubic, fragile being. I loved her instantly, and wanted to hold her so much, but I was also afraid to. She looked so tiny, I was scared that I might break her.

I remembered days spent with my parents, dress shopping with my grandmother, who was always taking me to different functions with her.

There were other things I thought about as well. High school friends that I had long since lost contact with. Being on the tennis team. A variety of small, part-time jobs.

These memories somehow held the power to make me very happy and very sad at the same time.

I did think about my time with Naraku as well. I thought about the kind _I love you_'s, and the cold _I hate you_'s, and everything else in between.

But I recognized something this time, that I hadn't realized before.

All of that, the time I spent with him, and all of those memories; It was all past-tense, and...

It was over.

What happened now... well, of that I wasn't really sure.

But there was one way to start finding out: I needed a job.

I got up, and moved to the washroom, where I showered, dressed and got ready for the day.

When I went back into the main apartment, InuYahsa was standing at the counter of the small kitchen-area, digging through a cupboard in search of something.

As I walked by, he looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Where are you gong?" he asked.

I made my way to the door, and just before leaving, I turned back to him with what I hoped was a slight smile on my face.

"Job hunting."

* * *

I didn't really have much of a resume.

I looked in many different places, but not one was willing to hire me.

During the time I had lived with Naraku, he had easily made enough money to support both of us. He kept on working at the school- but even I, as naive as I was back then, knew that an assistant job at a local high school couldn't bring in as much money as Naraku made at the time. Not the majority of it, at least.

Who knew where it came from. I learned that asking questions was never a good idea, under any circumstance. So I kept my curiosity to myself.

Looking back on it now, I have a pretty good idea of what went on.

But really, my odds of finding a job like this weren't very good- a high school dropout, no higher education to speak of, and not a shred of previous work experience.

At the end of the day, I was sitting alone at a bus stop, waiting for the bus that would take me back to the apartment building.

The air was cold, and I shrank deeper into the coat that Sango had lent me.

The bus finally came, and when I walked into InuYahsa's apartment, I was only slightly surprised to see Sango and Miroku sitting around the table with InuYahsa.

Sango brightened when I walked in.

"How did it go?"

I shrugged. "Nothing so far."

Miroku sighed and glanced at InuYasha. "Well, I guess I owe you, then."

I raised and eyebrow.

"You were betting money on whether or not I would get a job?"

Sango struck her elbow out, whacking Miroku in the stomach.

"He's just kidding," she said to me with a smile. Miroku laughed nervously, and winced slightly as he touched the spot where Sango had hit him.

"Besides," she continued, "there's always tomorrow."

I nodded. "You're right."

* * *

Later that evening, I sat at the apartment's only table, looking through 'Help Wanted' ads in the paper.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you?"

I didn't look up when InuYahsa spoke, simply because I had stumbled upon what appeared to be a very promising ad, but I spoke to him anyway.

"Yeah, I am. I guess I've never actually had a real job before."

I was surprised when he sat next to me on the sofa.

"Really?" he asked.

I nodded. "Do you have a pen?"

"Yeah."

He stood and walked over to the end-table with the drawer that held Kagome's picture. He opened a second, lower drawer and produced a blue, ball-point pen.

When he handed me pen, our hands brushed against each other, and something about the gesture seemed very strange, yet not uncomfortable.

InuYasha returned to his perch next to me, and I continued to peruse job offerings, but I wasn't really seeing the words anymore. For some reason, I just didn't want to look up. I felt almost... nervous?

No. That couldn't be it.

But it had returned even stronger than before, that odd feeling that I had been carrying with me for days.

We sat in relative silence for a while, the only sound the scratching of pen against paper, as I circled ads.

I glanced up a few seconds later, and saw that InuYasha was watching me.

_He's thinking of how much you look like Kagome, _a voice in my head whispered. I shook away these thoughts, denying them to myself, and met his gaze.

It felt as if an eternity passed in what, in reality, was only a few seconds.

Instinctively, I felt myself leaning forward.

_Like a moth drawn to a flame._

He leaned towards me as well, and I kept waiting for one of us to end this, for someone to snap us out of this trance.

_But I don't want that._

I felt my eyelids flutter shut.

Again, I kept expecting some kind of interruption- but there was none.

I felt hesitation at first, but then it seemed as if our lips were effortlessly guide to one another. Like magnets.

The kiss was gentle, and confusing, and wonderful all at once.

I could have stayed in that moment forever.

* * *

END/CH.12

* * *

Okay, so the outcome of this chapter was one that I agonized over for a very very long time. I wasn't sure if things seemed too sudden, or what.

But anyway, I hope that you enjoyed it. Please tell me what you think!

And, as always, thank you all for reading this and giving your feedback. I couldn't have progressed as far as I have with this story, without all of you.

See you next chapter!

-Massie


	13. One Day

**When I logged on the other day and saw that this story had reached 100 reviews, I almost fainted. I am so grateful for all the support you guys have given me, seriously. When I started this story, I thought that it would be a miracle if anyone read it or cared enough to review, and the kind reviews, helpful criticisms, and sometimes hilarious commentary that you guys have sent me have just blown me away! So anyway, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading this story and giving me your input. It means more to me than you could ever know!**

A/N: Okay, I am so sorry that it took so long to put this chapter up, but I wanted to make sure that it was just right. I've been working at this story, as well as my other one, constantly when I am not working or away, or anything.

The good news is that the next chapter is already written, and I just have some minor tweaking to do, so it should be up the day after tomorrow.

**Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, the characters or anything else here that is not part of the AU setting that I made up. I'm pretty sure that that is clear, but it's better to be safe than sorry, in this case.**

Please Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 13

One Day

* * *

The days that passed after the kiss were different from the ones prior in many ways- it seemed to almost cure the awkwardness that was typically present between InuYasha and I... and even though neither of us said anything about it, I suppose we were in some sort of relationship.

Not a conventional boyfriend-girlfriend union, by any means. Nothing sweet or gooey, obviously; We were both far too stoic to be taken with any idea of the sort.

Simply a series of shared conversations and occasional spontaneous kisses, that made us closer day by day.

I was stricken, by the difference between this, and any past relationships I had once had.

Any of the boys that I had - very briefly - dated early on in my high school career, had never caused me to feel any emotion, other than a small amount of guilt in my knowing that such relationships would lead to nothing.

And the love that I had been sure that I had felt for Naraku, had been of such a strange sort; A love tainted by fear, by uncertainty. Even before the relationship had become a violent one, the very fact that he was so much older than me had evoked a certain amount of fear, simply because of the seemingly taboo nature of our relationship.

But this was entirely different. With InuYasha, there was no fear or guilt. I'm not sure if it was love, or maybe something less, or possibly, even, something more. That was the only uncertainty, but I didn't mind it.

Maybe I always knew that it wouldn't last in quite that perfect state forever, even though I never wanted it to change. Or maybe that was just what I was trying to tell myself after the fact.

But despite any technicalities, the beginning of the end of something that had barely begun at all, started on a perfectly ordinary day...

* * *

The days had fallen into a pattern, I realized, as I squinted into the sharp glare of the beginnings of morning sunlight.

I had just woken up and dressed, and was, once again, browsing through the most recent job ads in the paper.

Yes, I still hadn't found anything yet, despite my constant searching. But maybe, I reasoned, I was just looking in the wrong place.

I finally decided that I would take the bus across town, and look for any retail businesses that might need a cashier, or something like that.

So, as I was heading for the door, I looked back into the apartment in time to see InuYasha emerging from his own room, ready to go off to his own job.

As he walked past me, I leaned in and gave him a short kiss, something that still felt so strange and new to me, and then I left to begin the hunt for my job.

I took the bus across town, to a brightly lit main-street with many popular establishments all gathered together in one convenient clump.

It was still fairly early in the morning, and the mid-winter sky was a strange violet hue, punctuated by pale, cottony clouds. I breathed in the sharp, cold air as I walked down the sidewalk.

Right away, I spotted a large bulletin board, fixed to the front of a redbrick building.

It held a surprising amount of help wanted ads, many of which were marked with the names of some of the businesses on this very street.

I scanned them over quickly, and choosing one that I thought would be good to start with, headed in the direction of the place.

I did not however, seem to make a good impression there, nor did I at the next place I went to, and so on.

Just, however, as I was about to give up hope, I returned to the bulletin board one last time and saw a plain white sheet of paper, slightly yellowed with apparent age, with messy script scrawled across it in dark marker.

_Hojo Shoes_, was the name of the place. An address and phone number were listed as well. It was on this street.

As I walked past all the businesses, I suddenly noticed a little shop, that was set apart from the rest.

It was not as new or sleek at the chain stores, but had the appearance of a small, family owned business.

The sign in a front window read '_Come in, we're OPEN'_, in cheerful red script._  
_

I walked up to the glass-paneled front door, and listened to the tinkling of tiny wind chimes as I pushed it open.

Walls upon walls of shoes faced me.

Shoes for women, men, and children. Shoes made of dark leather, slippers made of pale cotton, tall boots with thick laces, were everywhere. Any kind of footwear that you could possibly dream of.

A checkout counter, made of smoky, caramel colored wood, sat at the end of the room. Upon it sat an old-fashioned cash register, and a polished service bell.

There was not a person in sight.

Cautiously, I reached up and hit the bell. It's ring echoed through the shop.

At first, I thought nobody had heard me, but I stood waiting anyway. Suddenly, I heard a far off shout coming from the door behind the desk, presumably leading into a back room.

"Just a moment!"

Mere seconds after that, a young man who looked about my age bustled through the doorway behind the desk. He had light brown hair cut in a neat, fashionable style, and struck me as one of those people who held a bright smile no matter what the situation.

"What can I help you with today, miss?" he asked cheerfully.

"I saw your ad on the bulletin board outside." I replied, gesturing to the main entrance.

His eyes widened. "Y-you mean... You want to work here?"

I felt somewhat confused now. Was there some kind of problem...?

I nodded hesitantly. "Yes."

He broke into a huge grin, and swooped forward so quickly I thought he would leap over the counter.

"You are hired!"

He stuck out his hand for me to shake.

I stared at him. Was this guy crazy?

"You don't want to see my resume, sir?"

He shook his head vigorously, still waiting for me to shake his hand. "And you can call me Hojo, by the way!"

No resume?

I shook my head, but took Hojo's hand and shook it anyway.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Kikyo." I replied.

"Pretty name."

"Um, thank you," I said uncertainly, "But you see, I don't really know much about shoes..."

"It doesn't matter!" he blurted, "Really!"

I shot him another puzzled look.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"Positive!" he chirped.

"Okay then..." I mumbled, still somewhat dazed by the whole thing.

"Would you be okay with starting tomorrow?" he asked.

I nodded.

"See you then, Kikyo!" Hojo said with a smile.

I turned to walk away, then could have sworn I saw Hojo mouth the words 'Thank you', as he tilted his face skyward.

Really, I had no idea what would be in store for me from here on out, but I was just grateful to have found something.

* * *

I took the bus back to the apartment building, and arrived just after dark.

Carefully, I turned my spare key in the lock. As I pushed the door open, I wondered if InuYasha would be back.

I got my answer as soon as I stepped inside.

He, along with Miroku and Sango were standing in the middle of the apartment, so deep in conversation that they didn't even seem to hear me come in.

"It was such a strange phone call, from a private number, and the voice sounded so much like-" Sango was saying.

"But it wasn't, and you know it. It could have been anyone. Anyone else." InuYasha interrupted.

"I guess, but then who else could it _really_ be?" replied Sango.

InuYasha seemed rather annoyed by where the conversation was headed, wherever that was.

At this point, Miroku looked up and spotted me. He gently nudged Sango with his elbow, just as she was about to say something.

Everyone turned to look at me. I stepped back, towards the door.

"Look, if this is a bad time, I can..." I couldn't describe the sinking feeling that settled in my stomach at this point. I knew that something was going on.

"No, no, we were just leaving," replied Miroku, with a tense smile. He turned to InuYasha. "We can talk about this later."

Miroku and Sango both left, and as they made their way out the door, I noticed a strange expression on Sango's face.

The strangest mix of hopefulness and fear.

"What was that all about?" I asked curiously, hoping I wasn't prying.

InuYasha tried to laugh, but it sounded all wrong. Like it was just an act.

"It was nothing. Sango was just paranoid because she got a weird phone call."

"What kind of phone call?" I asked curiously, in response, walking across the room to stand in front of him.

He shrugged. "Probably just some kind of prank or something."

After this, the conversation was officially declared over, as he leaned in and kissed me.

Whenever we had a moment like this, as of lately, I would always wonder how it felt like we had known each other forever, when in reality it had only been a short time.

The kiss deepened, but then I remembered my news, and I reluctantly pulled away.

"I got a job."

InuYasha raised an eyebrow. "How did you manage that?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, but couldn't help but smile.

So I explained about the shoe shop and Hojo, and how I was instantly hired.

"Well that explains it." said InuYasha, rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why they were so quick to hire you, without really caring who you were. Sango knows that Hojo guy. He had to take over running that shop, after his father, who was the original owner, got sick and ended up in the hospital. He's been trying to find help with running the shop ever since, but there just weren't many takers."

Suddenly, all of the strange events from today seemed to make sense. I nodded solemnly.

After that, we talked for a bit more, and shared another short lived-kiss, before I realized that it was getting pretty late, and that I should probably go to sleep, since I would be starting work the next day.

I excused myself, to go change into one of my borrowed nightgowns, and when I returned to the main apartment, InuYasha had already retreated to his room.

Sitting on the edge of my sofa-bed, I became fully aware of the strange, nagging dread that had been creeping over me this entire time. It had been very mild at first, almost unnoticeable, but is had slowly escalated.

Flicking off the overhead light I lied down on the sofa, pulling a quilt entirely over my head in an effort to suppress my odd panic.

I could hear the familiar sounds of people moving around in other apartments, but also the distant sound of howling wind, blowing fiercely outside the window.

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, and tried to block out all sound, and somehow or another, finally managed to get to sleep.

* * *

The frightening crashing began in the middle of the night.

At first I thought that it was simply all a nightmare, but then I opened my eyes, and realized what that pounding really was.

Someone was banging on the apartment door.

I sat bolt upright, just as InuYasha made his way out of his bedroom, muttering "What the hell is going on?"

Springing forward, I made my way to the door before InuYasha had the chance.

It was probably Sango, I realized. Something must have happened after she had received that phone call earlier.

I unlocked and opened the door wide, forgetting in my haste to keep the deadbolt intact.

One confused blink, then another as I looked into the tearful eyes before me. This made no sense, in my tired state.

Then everything clicked into place in my head.

And I realized that I wasn't looking into a mirror.

* * *

Ch.13/END

* * *

Can I just say that I love Hojo? He was such a fun character to write into this chapter.

Okay, so I imaging that you guys are about to kill me after that cliffhanger ending, but the next chapter should be up soon, so...

Please don't kill me... *hides*

So anywho, thanks so much to everyone who read this chapter! I can't stress enough that you guys **rock my socks**!

If you would like to, fell free to leave feedback, it's always a huge help. I love hearing what all of you have to say!

So thanks to all readers and reviewers, I hope that all of you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

- Massie

**Oh, and PS, the chapter is called "One Day", because, for the most part, it all takes course over the span of one day. Thanks for reading!**


	14. The Proper Place

Okay, the FF edit/preview page has really been messing up, so if anything in this chapter looks weird for some reason, then I am very sorry, but I can not fix it. Notice how I wrote can not, as opposed to the short form? That would be because the apostrophe does not work. And question marks and forward slashes have been copied and pasted from another page. Yeah.

I hope that you somehow found this chapter to your liking. I posted a note fully explaining it at the bottom of the page!

Enjoy!

Also, a huge thank you to all who read and reviewed previous chapters!

Disclaimer: Do not own the original series, or anything associated.

* * *

Chapter 14

The Proper Place

* * *

She was so much like me. All I could do was stare.

Just like a mirror. All over again.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." her voice was soft and light, like that of a child.

Tears beaded in the corners of her eyes. I could sense that InuYasha had come to stand behind me, but he said nothing. I wanted to turn and look at him, but somehow felt I didn't dare.

He was speechless.

_I _was speechless.

Time was frozen in place, and it seemed like nobody knew what came next.

Sango and Miroku's apartment door opened across the hall, and they both stood there probably awakened by the noise from the hallway.

Sango gasped, and staggered backward slightly.

"I told you that it sounded like..." she murmured, almost inaudible in her shock. It took me a moment to realize that she was referring to the phone call that she had received earlier.

I think I sat down with everyone, as she made her sobbing confessions, her apologies, but I can't really remember it very clearly.

Everything moved by in broken bits and pieces.

"Ran... Stayed out of town... Changed name... So sorry..."

Feigning tiredness later, I had been sent into Sango's room to rest.

I stayed there, but my thoughts were too frantic, and I felt like I was choking, like I was being torn inside-out. I couldn't comprehend this feeling, but for some reason, all I could think about was the girl I had met a few weeks ago, Naraku`s fiancee.

Somehow, I just could not get out of my mind, I recalled how much I had wanted to tell her to run. Run before it was too late.

A sickening panic washed over me, and I twisted my body painfully, as if I was trying to dodge the direction of my thoughts.

What if some things were just so inevitable that there was no way to avoid them?

I looked out the window, into the chilly night. I noticed that the bedroom window was right over a fire escape. Not bothering to think about it first, I climbed out onto the rickety metal platform and made my way down a set of stairs.

Finally, at the bottom of the thin stairs, there was another platform, that dropped off with a ladder that did not go all the way to the ground.

I was cornered, but it was too late to go back now, so I began my descent anyway. I made my way down until my hands held onto the last rung. I dangled above the alley.

Looking down, I decide, if I could manage to propel myself into a pile of garbage bags, I could make a relatively safe landing.

I swung my legs, and, gaining leverage, let go of the ladder.

I fell onto the bags, and heard the sickening rip of something tearing through the plastic.

I looked down and saw a bit of metal digging into the skin of my calve. I freed my leg, but didn't really feel the pain of the cut.

That's all it was really, a little scrape. Only deep enough to draw a bit of blood.

I ran onto the sidewalk, getting out of the alley.

Really, I wasn't sure how long I walked before someone pulled up to the side of the road and asked if I needed a ride.

I nodded, and climbing in the stranger's vehicle, asked for directions.

I wasn't sure where I was at first when asked to be released, but I thanked the driver anyway, and stumbled off awkwardly. I walked for a while before I realized I was on a highway.

The same one, from so long ago.

No wonder the driver had given me a strange look when I had asked to be let out here.

I walked to the ditch, the same one, and sunk into the cool earth, my days of being needed over.

Even if I wasn't very old, I felt like I'd lived for centuries too long.

_Maybe_, I thought, as I lied down and watched as it began to snow.

_Maybe what?_ I didn't know.

There was nowhere left to go, now.

What had I done?

* * *

The snowflakes falling from the sky were thick like ash. They vanished as soon as they hit the ground.

I held out my palm.

As soon as the flakes touched my flesh, they turned to droplets of water, quivering in my palm.

They surrounded me, and even though they were a sad sight, each flake of cold moisture was so beautiful.

_"Sango, I need to ask you... A question."_

_"Sure. About what?"_

_"About... Kagome. Who is she? What happened to her?"_

_Sango breathed in sharply._

_"Kagome was InuYasha's girlfriend, they had been dating for four years. She was also the daughter of the wealthy Higurashi Publishing firm. I'm sure you've heard of it."_

_Indeed I had. Higurashi was one of Japan's largest publishing giants. Or, it had been, but they had gone bankrupt a few years ago._

_"So anyway," Sango continued, her usual smile not present,"When her family's business went under, her father committed suicide out of shame. And she just left."_

_"Left?"_

_"She ran away, and nobody ever knew where she went. She didn't tell anyone, not even InuYasha. He was really broken up about it for a long time. Really bad anger management issues."_

After a few moments, I returned from my memory of that day, when I had gone shopping with Sango._  
_

I lied on my back on the cool ground. All I could see was an endless loop of every day of my life since I had met InuYasha, and the look on his face when he saw her again. Well, after I finally brought myself to look at his face, that is.

He was so relieved to know that she was alright, and he didn't need me anymore. I was just a replacement.

I remember an old doll that I had kept as a child... A tiny firgure that I clutched in my hands when I was scared, a good luck charm to chase away the evil demons that I always believed were lurking just outside my window.

But when I got older, and realized that I didn't believe in demons anymore, I simply lost the doll, forgetting all about it until this moment.

I was that doll now.

I laughed without humor as I realized where I was. Right back where this whole mess had started, in a snowstorm, the sides of the ditch rising up on either side of me.

And I didn't want to be found this time. I was too confused, just wanted to sleep. I was sure that things would be better this way anyway.

I heard Naraku`s cruel voice echoing in the back of my mind, wondered how I had strayed so far from the place I had been in back then.

Maybe it was that voice that led me here, right now.

But, I realized, maybe the mess had started long before that night, when I had first been in this spot. Maybe it had always been there, under the surface, waiting to claw free.

I closed my eyes, welcoming the same feeling from before, the wish for sleep. It was so cold. If I fell asleep, I might not wake up.

I drifted into the darkness, knowing that while many happy chapters would remain to the stories of those I was still continuing to leave behind, mine would end here, cold, envious, and bitter.

This was it, no one should care if I don't come back this time. Really.

So, then, why wasn't I surprised when I felt warm arms around me?

* * *

CH.14/END

* * *

Okay, so I wrote this chapter a reeeeeeeeeeeeeally long time ago, like, after I first started this story, and modified it to fit with the details I added in other chapters.

**When I was writing this, I tried to force my mind into a state of confusion and panic, and then asked my self `Would you be able to make a rational decision like this?` Probably not, so I made Kikyo make some pretty quick and irrational judgments, because she feels like she had been trying to steal the place of someone else, questions where she really belongs, and gets herself into a huge mess. I just wanted to explain all of that, in case any of you are ready to kill me right about now, or if you are just wanted to know why I wrote this chapter the way I did. **

The next (and final) chapter will be up soon, probably sometime next week. I hope that you check it out!

Thank you so, so much for reading this. I am so grateful for all the support and criticism that I have received, and hope that you were able to enjoy this chapter.

Until next time.

-Massie


	15. Spring Arrives

So the last chapter is here already. Wow.

Just... Wow. Still having a hard time believing it myself.

So, thank you guys, for sticking with me for so long. I've posted my final _Winter_ A/N at the bottom, with all the proper notes on the story, as well as a special thank you note to all you readers! You guys have no idea how much your support has meant to me during the writing of this story...

I hope you all have a great summer!

**Disclaimer: FOR THE LAST TIME! I really don't own anything. I mean it. :)**

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Chapter 15

Spring Arrives

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"Thank you for calling us. Thank you for telling us that she's all right..." said a timid voice.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Her voice. My sister's voice.

It had been so long... But her voice was just so unmistakable.

"Kaede...?" I mumbled, rolling my head to the side. I wasn't convinced that I was fully awake yet. It felt far too much like dreaming.

"She's waking up," came a woman's tearful, sobbing voice, "Oh my goodness... My little girl, she's waking up!"

_Mother... Is it really you...?_

I opened my eyes, the lids feeling as heavy as bricks. The room was full of people, so many different faces, but the only ones that I could really focus on at first were those of my family.

My mother was crying, my father stood beside her, and arm around her shoulders. Kaede was kneeling next to the hospital bed that I realized I was lying in.

"Sister...?" her voice was small and wavering, as if my being there was no more tangible than an illusion, and she was afraid I would fade away any second.

"Kaede, I am so sorry I left you-" I managed to choke out, my voice breaking slightly. I wanted to continue, but my throat felt so closed up. Also, when I spoke, it only made my mother cry more.

Why were they here for me? I had been so sure that they hated me, that they didn't understand me...

Because that was what Naraku _told_ me I should think. I felt so stupid.

People who loved me were right in front of me, and I had abandoned them.

Kaede seemed so different now. barely six years old when I had left home, she was now a preteen. Her features looked older, but she still looked like my sister. The same sister I had always known.

My father spoke up. "Kikyo, we're glad that you're all right. It's been so long since we've heard from you... We thought you had gotten hurt. Or worse."

Father had always been a stoic man, a man of few words. It seemed you could never read his expression. And yet it seemed that I could see concern in his face.

They had been worried about me.

That was the thing, I realized. You can't just run away and hope to disappear without someone, somewhere noticing. Every person that lives affects other lives in some way, no matter what, whether that effect be good or bad. Every action has a hundred different outcomes, consequences.

I thought of looking at Kagome's photo, how much we looked alike. Could it be that we were alike in more ways than one from the beginning?

Slowly, the others in they room came into focus around me.

Kagome herself _was_ there. So were Miroku, and Sango, and the crazy old lady from down the hall, and even Hojo. I scanned the faces again, and again...

But he wasn't there. I wanted him to be there, but he wasn't.

That's when the door opened. He stepped inside, shutting the door quietly behind him as if he expected someone to be sleeping.

_Me_, I realized. I had been the one sleeping.

A nurse bustled in behind him.

"Oh! You're awake!" she smiled. "Can I get you anything?"

I thought for a moment.

"I would like to go for a walk, would that be okay?"

I wanted to talk with my family, of course- but this all felt way to overwhelming right now. I needed to breathe, to convince myself that all of this was somehow real.

The nurse looked momentarily surprised by my request. "Of course, but just stick to the hallway. You shouldn't try going outside just yet."

There was a moment of silence as I stood.

"I'll go with her." said InuYasha, following me as I left the room.

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As I entered the stark white hallway, I began to walk briskly forward, looking directly down the corridor.

"Where are you going?" asked InuYasha, walking behind me.

"Outside..." I replied shortly.

He rushed forward to stand in front of me, blocking my path.

"Did you not hear that nurse just now? You aren't allowed to go out yet, and even if you _were_, I wouldn't let you go. Not after what you just did."

I winced, wondering how long it had been since my crazy stunt. There were no windows nearby, so I couldn't tell if it was daylight or not.

Really, I could have been out for hours, or I could have been out for days. I'd never thought to ask the nurse.

"At least let me find a window, then." I muttered, pushing past him and walking farther down the hall.

I turned a corner and spotted a stretch of wall covered entirely by glass, just a ways down the corridor. I walked up to stand before it, ans let the warm morning light wash over me.

For some reason, I was glad that it wasn't nighttime. Perhaps simply because that would have been too dreary.

"Listen," said InuYasha, walking up to stand behind me, "I just want to know why."

"Why?" I echoed, not turning to face him.

"Why did you run off like that?" he asked me.

Why _had_ I run off? It had seemed like a logical decision at the time, but now I just felt like an idiot.

Not wanting to admit this, I stayed silent.

I mean really, if for no other reason, I ran off because of my own petty jealousy for someone that I don't even know. Not really something I wanted to say out loud.

Wanting to avoid this conversations at all costs, I said "You know, I really think I need a moment alone."

"No way." he replied.

I heaved a sigh, and pressed my forehead against the wall of glass that stood in front of me.

"Look, I promise I won't go outside."

"It's not about that." he said, his voice quieting slightly.

"Then what is it about?" I asked in reply.

I finally allowed myself to turn and look at him. Immediately, I realized it was a mistake, because when I was facing him like this, I knew I wouldn't be able to ask him to leave again.

He turned to meet my eyes.

"You still haven't answered my question, and I'm not leaving until you do."

I blinked stupidly for a second, then chuckled, shaking my head. "You really _are_ the most stubborn person I've ever met. Really."

He raised an eyebrow. "Aside from yourself, you mean."

I rolled my eyes in response.

There were a few more silent moments, before I said "Okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay, I'll answer your question..."

Staring directly into his eyes, I tried to read his tense expression. He said nothing at all, waiting for me to speak.

"I guess..." I paused and took a deep breath, "I guess I just felt like I didn't belong.

"I mean, everyone belongs somewhere, I guess, but at the time, I didn't feel like I did. I felt like I was trying to steal someone elses' place, and like it was way too late to fix anything or find my own. And I know that this probably sounds completely ridiculous, but-"

I was suddenly cut off, as his mouth covered mine.

The kiss we shared was long and sweet, and after a few moments, I realized that for the first time in a long time, everything was really going to be okay.

InuYasha held me close to his chest. He started to say something, but came to an abrupt stop.

"What is it?" I asked. I could hear his heart beating.

"This is hard for me to admit." he said, his voice almost a growl.

"Well, you'd better admit it, because I'm not leaving until you do." I said, fighting a smile.

"That's because you're as stubborn as I am," he said, no humor in his voice.

There were several more moments of silence, measured in his heartbeats. The sharp, antiseptic scent of the hospital assaulted my senses.

"It's hard for me to admit, because I haven't felt like this for a long time..." he said, sounding almost frustrated.

I said nothing- but my breath was so caught in my throat, that I probably couldn't have said a word, even if I had wanted to.

"I think I know where you belong..." he said.

I smiled. "I think I do too, now."

"Really? And where would that be?" he said.

I looked up at him and grinned. "You tell me."

He pretended to look thoughtful for a moment. Then however, he leaned in towards me, and I felt his lips brush against mine.

"Well, I was thinking right about here."

"Me too." I said.

As we kissed, I realized something.

This was a new beginning, a fresh start...

And the Winter was finally over.

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A Heart Like Winter/END

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Okay, I'm seriously almost crying now, because I can't believe that this story is really finished.

Even though, in reality, I started it last Fall, it feels like it was just yesterday.

So I want to give a huge _GINORMOUS_ thank you to everyone who read this story! Also, a special thanks to all who took the time to review, subscribe, and send me massages of encouragement during my hiatus. I seriously adore you guys, you made me love writing this story all the more. Really, I mean it.

**This story is dedicated to all of you.**

_And also, when writing the parts of Naraku's abusing Kikyo... Those things were not easy for me to write. And another thing- if you ARE in an abusive relationship, like Kikyo was, you shouldn't handle it the way she did. If you are in a situation like that, it's important to reach out and get help, because love is not abuse. It may be hard, but relationship violence is a big issue in today's society, one that should be put to a stop. _

So yes, I just wanted to get that message across. This story is not meant to make light of relationship violence.

Anyway, just want to give a big thanks to all the readers of _Winter_- it has been a long time since I've uploaded a "final chapter" (the last was for _New Future_!), so I'm not completely positive I remember how to go about this. So thank you, and also, I'm sorry for all the trouble I was having with this story for a while, I feel so grateful that you guys managed to put up with me throughout my hiatus, and all my crazy issues.

So this is Massie, signing off on this story for the very last time.

Thank you for reading, and goodbye (for now)!


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